All I can say is that my life is pretty plain.

I must have done something truly horrible to deserve the past week or so of my life.

I have a nurse come to my house twice a day to give me the antibiotics..I think I mentioned that...and besides the fact that it stings like all hell, makes me itch unless I get an infusion of benadryl which literally feels like acid and has to be prefaced by an ice-pack sitting on my arm, there's also the added discomfort of the infection barely reacting to the heavy-duty antibiotics, and OH YEAH- the drug is fucking with everything from my digestive system to my sleeping habits to my thermoregulation- sweats, shivers, nightmares...

It's not even worth it. I'd almost rather die of MRSA.

Oh, did I mention that because I'm "only" getting the vancomycin for ten days, my doctor decided NOT to give me a pic line, but a peripheral line. This means the needle and catheter are in my arm, or my hand, or my wrist..well, all of the above because my veins are so intolerant that EVERY fucking line we start gives out on me in the matter of two or three days, so I currently have SEVEN, count 'em, 7 needle sticks in my arm.

Once the line gets clogged, it leaves a nasty bruise and triggers an inflammatory reaction so that the area becomes swollen and red and numb. I have dealt with this. Seven times over. There is only one remaining spot on my arm where it's not so swollen that we can start a new IV (which we'll have to today).

It's in my hand, which I'm dreading, because the last time we even attempted to start a hand line I was in tears because it hurt. So. Fucking. Bad. And then it moves and aches when I'm teaching or tutoring, which I've actually had to cancel twice because of my fever spiking more than once (which makes no sense...)and it's embarassing and I have to cover it up with this cotton fucking sleeve thingy in goddamn 90 plus degrees with humidity so bad I'm sweating even without the thing on.

And I haven't been able to run, swim, or rollerblade in over a week because if I sweat into it it can...get this...get infected.

Fucking A.

And I've been shut-off and out of the life of someone I care about. Which I keep trying to convince myself is minor, because I have my own life here, and my own friends, and my own future. But when I can't even turn on the FUCKING radio without some stupid song coming on that freakishly keeps following me (see title of entry), it reminds me that rejection on this scale smarts no matter how far away I run or how I swear to myself that it's "for the best."

But other than that. Enlistment's going well. I'm teaching and tutoring quite a bit, and slowly climbing out of debt, the weather is nice when it's not shitty, and I'm averaging 2 books per week. And I've been getting hit on a lot. So at least I know I don't look like complete shit, even if it's how I feel. Bleh. My arms are killing me and my fever's 101, so I think I'll go nap now.