Lazy Sunday.

So. Things are going really, really well right now.
Like, oddly well. I've made a conscious decision to stop fighting it and just go with it. Things can be going this well for a while with nothing really bad happening, right?

Anyway, I'm walking well now, sans brace...still got to work on my flexion, but other than that I'm doing wonderful with PT and recovery. Chris had his last day of chemo on Friday!!!!! So happy AND happy for him- it's been a very long time coming. Very long. And, oh yeah, WE'RE GOING TO NATIONALS!! The Norwich University Women's Rugby Football Club are Northeast Champions, earning- through sweat and dedication- the NE's only seed in the Division II National Championship. Maybe they'll finally move us up to Div I soon, so we can take this program to the next level and play Harvard, Navy, Army and Penn State.

And fuck. Them. Up. Yes.

Can't wait to get back on the pitch. The only downside to anything right now is my limited ability to work out. I've got a program worked out for this coming week which involves jump-rope (on one foot, thereby kind of doubling the cardio workout haha), and I can begin to cycle, so we'll see how that goes. Also, the pool beckons as does the pull-up bar and CORE STRENGTH exercises, which I will do just for fun cause....they're fun. :) I miss the gym, and now I can justify going (finding the time will be the issue, naturally).

I need to go shopping. It has only recently occurred to me that I am months away from entering the Real World, and despite the obvious simplicity of wearing a uniform to work...I don't plan on the Air Force being my only job. Volunteering, interviews, and "business casual" work-related tasks will undoubtedly be a part of my life, and my wardrobe still screams "I GO TO COLLEGE AND I AM AN INDIVIDUAL." So that means, of course, I have to do WHAT when I get back from Thanksgiving Break in 2 weeks?
Yeah, that's right. I have to go back to work. Greeaaatt.

Ah, well.

Because bananas grow on a non-woody plant, they can not be considered trees or shrubs. Thus, they are, in fact, herbs (commonly known as "spices"). The bananas we buy are genetically altered to be triploid, making the edible fruit much larger than normal, and the seeds are sterile.
They are simple fruits (unlike pineapples, which are multiple fruits, or raspberries, which are aggregates) and because the skin is formed from parts of the stem tissue, they can be considered accessory fruits. I am a banana, and my spoon is too big. No, really. Ha. Wait, what?

Mistakes.. we all (even me, but not often) make them.

So things I did in O Chem Lab today that I've never done before:
-Set up a vacuum distillation with no collecting beaker (thus no seal, no vacuum) and didn't turn the vacuum on.
-Tried to boil a round bottom on a mantle but forgot to turn the mantle on and stared at it challengingly wondering why it mocked me with its refusal to heat up.
-Showed up late.
-Poured organic waste down the drain. On purpose.
-Handled hot things or recently boiling glassware with my hands because I now know that I can handle that much heat (that part was fun, I totally looked like a badass- didn't flinch once)

Haha, so all in all after I made my requisite 3 mistakes... well 2 mistakes, one testimony to laziness and one conscious choice... I finally buckled down and did the damn experiment to get OUT OF THERE. And, even 20 minutes late to start, I was the third person out.

Damn I'm good in the lab, not gonna lie, I'm pretty impressive with that sort of multi-tasking.

Now, off to physical threapy and then a nap perhaps, so I can pull an all-nighter --sleeping schedule as it is, it shouldn't be ridiculously challenging, though I am getting old-- aaaand finish Senior Seminar. Maybe some coffee, a few sets of pushups to stay awake... hrm.

that's a puposeful comma at the end

How I know I have entirely too much going on inside my head: despite a cripplingly bad headache I've been dealing with since about 4:30 pm, I am still awake and sleepless the next morning at 1:30 sorting through thoughts and reading to silence those I don't want bursting my proverbial "it's Friday" bubble right now.

Pondering...life, not just life, but lost lives, friend's lives, my life, boots on the ground in Iraq, nuclear missiles, what's California like?, why is happiness so elusive and why can't I be one of those people who make their own, why haven't I really written or read anything of importance or literary value lately? everything I immerse myself in is cold hard science, just the way I like my days to be ruled, but I feel like a ball of left brained confusion right now.

Thiiiiis is exactly why I put my ass to bed before midnight and avoid late drinking binges (note: I am NOT currently drunk). I think too much. About my situation, about those who've graduated before me, about Dad and Will, and I ask questions. Why did I let myself be an underachiever? I often hear that I hold myself to impossibly high standards but no, that's not the case. I do have so much more potential than I let myself realize but for some reason I'm holding myself back. And I don't know if it's something I can control anymore or if falling short of my actual abilities is now an ingrained character flaw.

People change, don't they? Or is the saying that people don't change?

I've seen people change, slowly, and with much concerted effort. I lack the effort right now- I feel burnt out, but not like the candle's been burnt at both ends, more like the whole thing got put in a microwave and nuked on high. Ah, yes, I am a pile of wax... who's good at O Chem (but could be better!) And then there's this nagging feeling that I'm wasting what's left of my (relative to what is coming) carefree days by worrying, thinking, postulating...

Sleep beckons. Maybe,